The year started with a new friendship. I was introduced to Amey and her gang which at the time I had no idea they would become some of the greatest friends I have!! 
I turned 25!
And I also planned out the year with some wonderful goals.. (these are in fact how I wrote them down in an exercise we had in Sunday School..)
- Clean out my closet (bury the skeletons)
- Attend Institute
- Pay my tithing regularly
- Attend the Temple
I wanted to ultimately be in a place I could easily receive my endowments, perform baptisms for the dead, or get married. I had slowly reached a place I hated being in and once I moved to Arizona I was on my own, I had received a series of dreams in which I knew weren't just a state of unconsciousness.. and then again in 2008 with a special trip to the Mesa Temple these promptings could no longer go ignored.. I knew 2009 was MY year.
Jan. also started out rocky with the end of friendship I thought would never end, this individual suddenly decided they no longer wanted to be friends and the way they went about it was cruel I won't go into the childish things they did, but it was immature and it hurt. It felt like someone I cared for had died and I grieved.. I am at a place now that I know I will never receive an apology or understanding, but I know that this person has a lot to work on and my prayers go out to them. I hope they can become happy with themselves. I know my Heavenly Father continues to help me and forgiveness is such a wonderful thing I am still perfecting..
FEB/MARCH/APRIL:
The year continued with a visit from my Mom, trip to Disneyland, Oakland A's Spring Training, a visit from Erin, working on my golf game, working on some personal training and my new wonderful friends. I also started attending institute sporadically, non the less I was going.. That's right I was actually fulfilling one of my goals.
MAY:
I decided to let a friend know I was interested in them (never do that and will never do that), well it turned out they had HAD similar feelings it just wasn't the time.. two weeks later he was officially together with his current girlfriend. It took me by surprise, but overall I am happier that they are together and that we are still good friends. It also relieved a lot of stress seeing as I was going back and forth on these feelings for him and another individual who was really a waste of my time just could never really see it at the time.. Thanks goes out to Rinda, J Starr, Amey, Jeni, and Erin for helping me through that mess!! And Scott, Ryan and Jay for the male input.
I continued with a new person on the dating scene.. I started seeing a friend of a friend and well while we had a lot of fun and went out a few times.. it just wasn't there. He continued to be a supportive friend and is now back in SOCAL happily engaged.
We reach the end of May and well I was let go at work. I worked at Seville Golf and Country Club since moving to AZ in 2007. In the beginning of 2009 our new GM decided they were going to eventually place me under the supervision of someone I did not really work well with (though I liked her on a personal level). I struggled with this, but I tried to do my best and soon they had moved me part time over to the Sports Club front desk so I could greet guests, answer phones etc.. I loved it. Though our GM thought I had a problem with it, I really didn't. I had a problem with the person I thought wasn't doing an adequate job being a supervisor. I am an opinionated person and sometimes I can't keep my mouth shut. Well this was the case, I confided in the wrong people and well instead of listening to my concerns and those of my team mate our GM decided to reprimand me instead and well that led to my demise. I was very upset.. now thinking about it I realize I was a little hard on my former supervisor, her and I just had different working styles. She was trying.. maybe not the way I would've.. but she was. I wish I could apologize to her for the way I treated her at work, I was OK with her personally.. Our GM on the other hand things only got worse with him and again Heavenly Father is helping me perfect the art of forgiveness.. Since leaving Seville I lost a few more friends, but again I feel I confided in some people whom turned out to be more concerned about their image..
The end of May continued with the marriage of my one of my best good friends Rinda. She had moved to Utah in late 2008 and found love. Rinda is one of my most caring friends that I love a lot. She had asked me to be a bridesmaid in which I was more than happy to do for her. Though just a few days prior I received the worst sunburn in my entire life (I thought it was a good idea to put tanning oil on HA!) though I was burning to death Rinda's big day was WONDERFUL! We got up around 5:30 to work on her hair and make-up, she went to the temple and after the sealing we went to lunch at Tia Rosa's a really good Mexican joint in Mesa.. we then worked on centerpieces, setting up the reception and partying! Her reception was in a friends backyard and turned out BEAUTIFUL! I am happy I got to be part of Rinda's big day and can't wait for the day when she can be part of mine. She is a great example and wonderful friend!!! I miss her.
JUNE:
Amey, Seth, Lindsey, Jenna, Janai and I went to Amey's family's cabin in Alpine AZ (on the AZ/NM border). That was fun we walked in thinking the cabin had bee
n broken into so Seth grabbed a baseball bat and Amey an empty shotgun.. we spent the weekend watching movies, puzzles, spotlighting.. which was awesome (6 of us on one ATV), a trip to the meadow and the discovery that Seth and Amey were in fact more serious than a lot of us had thought at the time. (they got married in Nov.)
I also started working again. I sold corn for Amey's Dad and I liked it. It was fun.. I also started paying tithing regularly and also took care of those skeletons.. I was on top of everything.. I even found a job at an auction house. They would take classic cars that people were selling and place them in auctions. Once these cars were sold the car owners would receive a portion of the profit. I learned in my first week that people were getting ripped off and I felt that this wasn't quite the place I wanted to be. Yet I couldn't find another job..
JULY:
d un-employment.. yah I know. Corn wasn't enough and my new job even wasn't enough to cover all my bills. I began scrambling to find a place to stay since I had to voluntarily forfeit my lease and with the time of the
month that would give me a week to move. I put all my things in storage and thankfully Janai gave me a place to stay.. There was talk of me staying there until October, but with a lot of thought and prayer I knew I needed to go home. The same day I decided to move home I was offered a job and also my Dad had the time off to drive down to help me. SO I packed everything, said good-bye to as many of my friends as I could (less than a week) and away I went. Good-bye Arizona. 
eing home have lapsed into a depressive lull.. I stopped calling a lot of my friends and even answering their calls, not because I didn't need them, but more from working the hours I did/do and being around family I guess I just didn't.. I know that sounds very bad and it is. I had become a hermit. I did however spend a lot of time with my family and especially my younger sister, we've taken some adventures including one to Forks, WA (home of Twilight, yes we're nerds) in which we found ourselves making fun of those who were there.. it was fun! WHAT I'VE LEARNED:
As I look back at this last year I have realized that these bad things that have happened though I thought they killed me... I know they have a purpose.
The rejection from the one guy also put into perspective the qualities I want in a guy, I have wasted a lot of time with frogs and this person showed me that there are good guys out there and though a great guy he is it would've put me back at square one being with a person who didn't share my goals and values. It has also made me think about a person from the past whom I will always be grateful for that my friends and family root for.. they do (it's kind of twisted). It makes me wonder about this individual and if there is or could be something. I will always respect them, but it always makes me think of what plans HF has for me and those whom I encounter in life..
Then the loss of my job and moving home.. I am away from a lot of people who judged me for my past and my beliefs, brought me down and in directions what weren't the best.. HF taking me out of that atmosphere has only improved my thoughts, and feelings and I am no longer trapped in a place full of lies and drama!
I am also perfecting the art of forgiveness, I have a stronger testimony of prayer, and repentance and though I might've slowed my progress since moving home I know what's important and I know I need to become the example. And though I haven't entered the temple this year I know I can! That by far is the best feeling in the world! This year has been quite the journey.. I couldn't have gotten to this place with out my best friends and I am so thankful for their support, patience, love and examples to me. So thank you:
- Amey, Seth, Janai, Jenna, and Lindsey
- Erin, Jeni and Sheena
- Spencer
- Jen Starr
- Rinda, Maren, Rachel and Lauren
Flight of the Conchords: Seasons 1, 2 and 3
